The life I planned

Most of the people reading this know me (in fact, I would be honored if I had any blog stalkers that don't know me- maybe it wouldn't make me feel so guilty?!?) :).  I love to make lists.  LOVE it.  I'm pretty sure I wanted to be some type of secretary when I was little, so that I could just make lists and write checks - ha!  Now, most of you also know that I'm not the best "follow through-er" - meaning I make lots of lists and abandon them.  In short, I like to plan but wouldn't consider myself Type A.  And something that I have found to be a daily struggle is how much - in an unassuming, inconspicuous way - that I like to plan my life.  I have dreams in my head that are purely earthly and don't at all look eternal. Gulp. I have an idea of what the house we will eventually buy will look like (adorable), what neighborhood (city, even) it will be in, and how cute my children will look playing in the front yard. And while some of you may be saying, "what's wrong with that", if I was able to paint a picture just imagine I am June Cleaver and my life is perfection.  And then laugh with me (if you know me) and say "are you serious"?  I am not June Cleaver.  We rent our house (which we love and are appreciative of).  We are joyfully expecting a baby, but know what it feels like to go home from the hospital empty handed.  June Cleaver didn't (and I can imagine wouldn't have wanted to) plan this life.  But God did. Sometimes I just need to be reminded of that, and today is one of those days. My earthly plans pale in comparison to his Eternal ones, and on a day like today I pray that the dreams in my head would get bigger and more elaborate.  That I wouldn't feel trapped and disappointed by my measly June Cleaver plans.
When we lost Poppy, one of my best friends gave me a journal with this poem written inside it.  Today is a good day for it and I thought I would share.  Thanks for letting me ramble, and if you are a blog stalker I hope you'll come back for what will surely be a better post next time. :)

The Life I planned
Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been misplaced.
I've looked in every corner;
It's lost without a trace.

I've found one I don't recognize --
Things missing that were dear;
Promises I'd hoped to keep,
And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here.

Faces I had planned to see,
Hands I planned to hold;
Now absent in the pictures;
Not the way I told.

Has someone seen the life I planned?
Did it get thrown away?
God took my hand from searching;
Then I heard Him say --

"Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans I have for you
Are more than you could dream.

You long to walk by sight,
But I'm teaching eyes to see;
I know what I'm doing --
'Till then, you must believe.

He's done so much, I felt ashamed
To know He heard my moans.
To think I'd trade in all He's done
For plans made on my own.

I wept over His faithfulness
And how He'd proved Himself;
How He'd gone beyond my dreams
And said to Him myself,

"No, my ears have never heard,
My eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans You have for me
Are more than I could dream.

"Yes, I long to walk by sight
But You're teaching eyes to see;
You know what You're doing --
'Till then, I must believe.

I felt His great compassion --
Mercy unrestrained.
He let me mourn my losses
And showed to me my gains.

I offered Him my future
And released to Him my past.
I traded in my dreams
For a plan He said would last.

I get no glimpse ahead;
No certainties at all,
Except the presence of the One
Who will not let me fall.

Are you also searching
For a life you planned yourself?
Have you looked in every corner?
Have you checked on every shelf?

Child, your ears have never heard,
Your eyes have never seen,
Eternal plans He has for you
Are more than you could dream.

Perhaps you long to walk by sight,
But He's teaching eyes to see;
He knows what He is doing --
Child, step out and believe.

By Beth Moore

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

Sunday afternoon blogger

I've not been good in the past at posting things quickly (like our NYC recap which is still in the works :) ), so I'm trying to post things faster this year.  We've had a busy but great weekend!
Friday evening we drove to Dallas to eat dinner with Issac and Tara, and Shae and Smith.  Precious Smith was born on Thanksgiving, but because Charlie and Shae currently reside in TN we hadn't gotten to see that sweet boy yet. We all missed Charlie and wished he could have been with us - mostly I wish he could've seen the way his buddies were loving on his son.  What a sweet moment as we get to celebrate the beginning of sharing another generation of life together.  When I met Shelby almost 10 years ago, I was blessed to be welcomed into this wonderful group of friends.  All of the girls that I met then  have gone on to become wives to these friends. And I love them dearly. And I love the way their men love Shelby (and me).  They are ALL such a blessing and we have loved living and sharing life with each of them (and vacations together!) . And I look forward to having babies together and sharing these next stages of life together too! Sweet Smith is the biggest little boy I have ever seen, with THE cutest head of hair.  At 8 weeks old, he is a long 15 pounder!

Shae is a wonderful, laid back mom who was happy to share her son (and Smith was a trooper) with all of us that night.  It was so good to see them, and even better to know that we will see them again in just a few weeks!

Saturday was busy as well; I got my hair done and prepared for the celebrations we had last night.  Our night began by celebrating our dear friend Chris' 40th birthday.  It is hard to describe this man with words, and his celebration was a beautiful reflection of his dedication to the Lord and his family and friends.  Shelby and I felt privledged to sit in a room with so many others, honored to be so loved by Chris and his wife Tiffany.  Not only is Chris a talented artist and teacher, loving husband and father, he makes time for people and loves them with the love of the Father unlike anyone I have known.  Shelby and I have benefitted from that love and encouragement and were so blessed to share last night toasting (and roasting) Chris. :) And of course, the setting was beautiful - Tiffany has a gift for never doing anything "half-way".  Shelby's final comments on the party were - "When I was a kid I wanted to be like people like Michael Jordan, now I want to be like Chris Guild".

After Chris' party, we were off to celebrate at a couples shower for Courtney and Nick.  If you have read my blog for a while, you may remember that we attended a engagement party for this sweet couple this past summer.  Their wedding is drawing near (Feb 27), and we are so excited to get to celebrate them. Their shower was so fun and we can't wait for the wedding. Courtney and I spent everyday working together for almost 2 years and became great friends as a result.  I definitely miss seeing her everyday!
So far for Sunday - we've been to church, lunched with some great friends, and are now relaxing a bit with our puppy (most likely including a little NFL football and napping) :).
As I look back on this weekend, I'm thankful that the Lord has placed each person we have spent time with in our lives.  That He is refining and shaping us to look more like Him through these friends.  And that we get to share life together, period.
And to those of you reading that we didn't get to spend time with this weekend - the same is to be said for all of you.  We love sharing life with you and are thankful for the way you have impacted our lives. 
The only thing I bet you all didn't realize when you started reading this - is that the Sunday afternoon blogger is a little sappy.  I'll blame it on the hormones. :)

It's almost Friday

But until then, I'm dreaming of a far away place....

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

with clear waters....

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

And skinny arms.... :)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
I'm just sayin'....
(all photos from our honeymoon, September 2005)

One for the ages

*Warning!  LONG post ahead!*

I have to admit - I wouldn't have minded 2009 lingering on a few days longer this year.  This has been a year full of joy and sorrow, and definitely a hard one to let go of.  One for the ages for sure.  It's been a year that has shaped us and challenged us like I would never have thought possible.  It's been a year for miracles, both of the physical and spiritual kind.  I'm not sure I can remember another year that I have felt more loved, but can definitely remember years I have ached less.  Without further ado, here's a quick recap of the life of the Timmermans - 2009 edition (pictures added where available :).

I'm copying this from a friends blog, I loved the idea  - thanks Lindsey!

*January*

- Threw a baby shower for a friend who lives too far away

 - Celebrated Samantha's 28th birthday with great friends

- Got to experience World Mandate for the first time and LOVED it!

*February*

- Spent some time with Katy and Geoff while they were in town

- Shelby took a quick trip to Denver

- Celebrated the birth of Annalea to our sweet friends Lauren and Andy

- Found out I was pregnant!

*March*

- Took our first hike as a family of four at Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose

- Shelby's sweet Grandma and the Matriarch of the Timmerman family, passed away unexpectedly

- Beth spent a weekend in Denver with her sister and some wonderful friends, while...

- Shelby spent the weekend in Eagle, CO with his best buddies celebrating Nate's chemo being over!

*April*

- Celebrated the birth of Wyatt to our dear friends Ashlee and Jonny

- Enjoyed hosting the Paytons and celebrating Lindsay's 28th birthday in Ft. Worth

- Celebrated my 28th birthday

*May*

- Enjoyed getting cards and gifts on my first Mother's Day

- Celebrated my cousin Sarah's wedding in Aspen with a fun reception in Austin

- Kiva gets her first haircut

- Shelby worked his LAST day at Pearl Izumi!!!

- Celebrated Maddox's 2nd birthday with him watching the TX State Championship Criterium Race in FW

- Celebrated our sweet, precious nephew Dean's 1st birthday at his Grammy and Pa's house

*June*

- Go to the Dr. to find out our baby's sex; learn that our baby is sick and has many complications

- Take an already planned vacation to our favorite spot, Port Aransas

- Pray, hope, and believe the Lord will heal our baby

- He does ~ he takes our baby girl, Poppy Elizabeth, home to be with Him two weeks later.

- Shelby starts a program to get his teaching certificate

- Celebrate Shelby's 29th birthday and first Father's Day, just not the way we thought we would

- Celebrate Poppy's short, sweet life with family and precious friends

*July*

- Spend 4th of July at Concerts in the Garden with the Gage's

- Celebrate sweet Sarah's 30th birthday

- Charlie comes to visit Shelby and Isaac

- Shelby runs EL SCORCHO with our friend Kevin, and makes 15 miles look easy!

- Rangers game with the Kohlbacher's

- Celebrate Mi Carrita's 26th birthday

- Shelby's Mom and Michael take the family to the Wild Oak Ranch outside San Antonio

*August*

- Matt and Caroline get married!  More time with Katy and Geoff :)

- Jenny and Molly come to visit from Denver

- Host a wedding shower for a sweet friend, Candi

- Shelby rides his first Hotter than Hell 100 with the Encore team in Wichita Falls, TX

- Bid farewell to the Land Cruiser and trade her in for a new Honda Pilot

*September*

- CORE discipleship training school begins!

- Jeff and Candi get married Labor Day Weekend in Valpraiso, IN and we visit Matt and Jordan in Chicago for the weekend

- Shelby started student teaching PE at Worth Heights Elementary

- Celebrated 4 years of marriage with my wonderful husband
- Caught up with old friends at my 10 year HS reunion

- Went to our first Cowboys Game at the new stadium - aka the Death Star (that's for you Shelby)

- Our lifegroup multiplies and I get baptized

*October*

- Spent a morning garage sale-ing with some great friends

- Travel to Waco to support the Bears at Baylor Homecoming

- Find out I'm pregnant, AGAIN!

- Honor Poppy's original due date of October 31 and celebrate that she is with Jesus

*November*

- Find out my company has made plans to merge with another

- Finish planning and take our last trip for the Encore Bank Meeting in Puerto Rico!
- Celebrate the arrival of Smith to our dear friends Charlie and Shae

- Celebrate Thanksgiving in New York with Shelby, complete with watching the Macy's parade in person

*December*

- Had the chance to honor a new but dear friends baby's short, sweet life here on earth at Shower for Glory.
 What a blessing to be a part of such an amazing event!

- Celebrate Kiva's 2nd birthday

- Shelby goes to Kansas City to visit Jason

- I host CCCD '09 (Crazy Christmas Craft Day) for some friends

- Spend a weekend in Arkansas with some of Shelby's oldest friends and their families

and...

- Celebrate the birth of Jesus with a White Christmas

For any (or none of you) who are still reading: What a year it has been!  Looking back over this very long, yet uncomprehensive list of things we have done over the past year amazes me.  What the Lord has done and shown us has been remarkable.  I pray that as we walk into 2010, we walk with a glimmer of the joy we found in 2009. 

~HAPPY NEW YEAR from our growing family to yours~